Just be here with me now
Life is riddled with uncertainties and surprises; some pleasant—others, not so much. I have learned that you can’t always control the outcomes in situations. There is no guarantee that your job will keep you, the relationships you cherish will stand the test of time, or the day you planned will stay on schedule. We can choose to see the interruptions and changes in our life’s journey as something terrible or fully immerse ourselves in acceptance that change must happen and is occurring.
There is a great chance that the change you are avoiding or are afraid of is the change you need the most. Many of us are truly afraid of evolution. We overstay expired situations out of fear and comfort. I get it! Change is hard and can be scary when you are a creature of comfort. Often times the very thing we see as comfort becomes our prison. It becomes our ball and chain that keeps us tethered. Yet, if we were honest—we would quite often find that we THINK we are comfortable, we THINK we cannot have a better experience and even if those thoughts are not facts we cling to what is familiar while suffering or missing out on better opportunities.
How do we move past this? One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that if I anchor myself IN the trust and love I have for myself I am always tethered to the one earth side person who will be a constant in any situation, relationship, or location I place myself in. However, it is not easy to trust yourself as an anchor point if you are not fully loving, respecting, committing, and showing up for yourself. The choices we make daily are a reflection of the relationship we have with self. When it comes to relationships there are usually talks about withdrawals and deposits. Taking more than you give in a relationship leaves an imbalance. Not honoring your word creates mistrust. Well, this works the same way with self.
Taking actions that show you that you are committed to making deposits in your bank of love and trust takes effort but makes you more trustworthy and safe to yourself. Can you commit to speaking to yourself with more kindness and compassion? Can you honor your ideas and goals by following thru on them? And if you are a neuro-diverse individual like me—can you honor your unique needs and find a strategy, supplement, or medication that helps you with that? Actions like improving your diet, being more physically active, addressing your mental health needs, leaving relationships that are draining, non-reciprocal, and unhealthy are additional ways to say to yourself, “YOU ARE SAFE WITH ME.” Committing to addressing your finances or spending time with your hobbies also send a message, “I am thinking of our future and you are deserving of pleasure and joy even now.”
We teach ourselves that we are not dependable or safe when we do not make these types of deposits into our personal bank of love and trust. When the winds of life start blowing and change is on the horizon we will more than likely be afraid to move forward and will cling tightly to comfort if we have not established that we can be rooted and anchored in self. I want to share something with you simple but profound.
You are responsible for loving you.
Self-love will never replace the love that comes from others. The love of others will never replace the love you have for yourself, but the love you show yourself will impact every interaction you have, choice you make, and relationships you choose into or out of. You will never regret the return on investment that comes from truly loving, trusting, and honoring yourself. One of the outcomes of doing so is being better able to maneuver life’s challenges and surprises with less fear, more confidence, more optimism, and potential excitement about the endless possibilities that come with starting a new chapter in life.
Let me leave you with one of my favorite mantras:
“Just be here with me now.”
I find comfort in this mantra when I am feeling anxious or uncertain. It reminds me that no matter what comes or goes I can stay. I can call my wandering mind back to me, I can call back the version of myself that is consumed with potential outcomes and worst case scenarios. I can remind myself that trusting myself is grounding. I can remind myself that I do not have to leave myself to join another.
May you find safety in your ability to be present with and committed to yourself. May you also find safety and trust in your higher power and spiritual practice.
Love Always,
Melissa
