The chosen wedge between us
What is that phrase? “Your new life will cost you the old one.” I meeeeeean. Yeah—sounds about right. Evolution is very much a pay to play situation. You have to sacrifice something to move into your next level and season of life. This theme has come up in conversations multiple times in the past two weeks.
I was talking to a guy some time ago about religious deconstruction (Christianity). I shared my journey with him and let him know that in your process of becoming more free you will likely lose certain relationships. People will feel the need to separate themselves from you because of how they judge the spiritual path you are on. Sad but true—and personally experienced. Nonetheless, he has recently found himself in a space of knowing this to be true for himself. It is disappointing to me to see how rigid and dogmatic we (humans) can become. How do we get to the point we are willing to sacrifice and lose relationships because people do not share spiritual beliefs with us. It is one thing if the beliefs produce actions that are harmful to self and others; but it often seems to be based in fear, ignorance, and rigid thinking.
Some will use 1 Corinthians 15:33 as a point of defense—however, someone not having the same spiritual beliefs does not mean they have bad character or morals. There are many great people who are have different spiritual practices and religions. When it comes to being unequally yoked I believe that is another scripture that people use to justify distancing themselves from others—but they don’t have enough information to see that the person they want to distance themselves from is mostly only different in their thinking process. I ended up down a rabbit hole of thoughts on this one and asked ChatGpt to help explore some scriptures but ended up with the following conversation:
Me: So lets have a philosophical convo.
ChatGPT said:
I’m always down for a philosophical convo! What’s on your mind? Are you thinking about something specific, like morality, purpose, consciousness, free will, or maybe something related to that scripture we just discussed?
Me: Yeah I am thinking about that scripture and while I do understand and it makes sense. Here is what I have noticed. There are people who don't share the same spiritual beliefs, but morally they still have the same values and goals on how they want to treat people and they still believe in a higher power. I feel like people take this scripture and 1 Corinthians 15:33 and use them as grounds to disconnect from friends and family who aren't Christian or who are deconstructing religious beliefs and wanting to be more open to learning about other religions or the practices of their ancestors. But some Christians see that as evil or demonic instead. What are your thoughts on that.
ChatGPT: That’s a deep and important observation. I think you’re touching on a really nuanced issue—how scripture is interpreted and applied in ways that can sometimes be rigid or even harmful, rather than wise and discerning.
Morality vs. Religious Affiliation
You’re absolutely right that there are people who don’t share the same religious beliefs but still align deeply in values, ethics, and how they treat others. Morality doesn’t always depend on a specific religious framework; it can be rooted in human nature, cultural traditions, or personal convictions. There are people outside of Christianity who embody love, kindness, justice, and integrity in ways that sometimes even surpass those who claim religious affiliation.
This raises an important question: Is the purpose of the scripture to promote wisdom in relationships, or is it meant to create division between those with different beliefs? I would argue that the deeper intent is wisdom and discernment, not fear-based isolation.
How Scripture Can Be Misused to Justify Disconnection
You mentioned 1 Corinthians 15:33 ("Bad company corrupts good morals"), and along with 2 Corinthians 6:14, many Christians use these verses to justify cutting off people who don’t fit within their religious framework. This can lead to:
Fear-driven separation – Avoiding people out of fear of being influenced, rather than being confident in one’s own faith.
Judgment instead of discernment – Assuming that anyone outside of Christianity is automatically a negative influence, rather than assessing their character and values.Loss of meaningful relationships – Family, friends, and even life partners can be dismissed, not because they are harmful, but simply because they believe differently.
Ironically, Jesus himself did the opposite of this approach. He engaged with people across different belief systems—tax collectors, Samaritans, Romans, and even religious skeptics. His concern was less about labels and more about the spirit of a person’s heart.
Christianity, Ancestors, and Other Spiritual Practices
A big reason some Christians reject learning about other religious traditions or ancestral practices is because of historical teachings that frame non-Christian spirituality as "demonic" or "pagan." Colonization and missionary movements often reinforced the idea that indigenous or ancestral practices were evil, even when those practices were deeply connected to reverence, nature, and communal wisdom.
Many people today are deconstructing their faith, not because they want to abandon God, but because they want to understand spirituality beyond institutionalized religion.
Some seek to reconnect with ancestral wisdom that was stripped away due to colonization or forced conversions.
Others recognize that different cultures have different ways of connecting with the Divine, and learning about them doesn’t mean rejecting God—it can deepen understanding.
Unfortunately, some Christians view this openness as a "slippery slope" toward losing faith, rather than a journey toward deeper understanding.
Finding a Balanced Perspective
Rather than taking an extreme stance (fully separating or blindly embracing everything), I think a healthy approach is discernment with an open heart. Here’s what that looks like:
Evaluating relationships by their fruit – Instead of focusing on labels (Christian, non-Christian), focus on character, integrity, and impact.
Being confident in one’s faith – If Christianity is true, it should be able to withstand honest exploration and questions.
Recognizing that spirituality is vast – God is bigger than any one tradition, and learning about other perspectives doesn’t have to mean abandoning one’s faith.
Christianity, Ancestors, and Other Spiritual Practices
A big reason some Christians reject learning about other religious traditions or ancestral practices is because of historical teachings that frame non-Christian spirituality as "demonic" or "pagan." Colonization and missionary movements often reinforced the idea that indigenous or ancestral practices were evil, even when those practices were deeply connected to reverence, nature, and communal wisdom.
Final Thoughts
I think scripture warns about being spiritually unbalanced in partnerships, not about cutting off every non-Christian or questioning person. Relationships should be based on mutual values, respect, and integrity, not just shared doctrine. Christianity at its core is about love, wisdom, and truth—not fear, exclusion, or rigid boundaries.
What do you think? Have you experienced situations where people used these scriptures to justify separation in ways that felt unnecessary?
What do you think of AI’s response to my question? What is your experience connecting with others that share different beliefs? I honestly feel like I am more open and accepting of others religions now that I have deconstructed my religious beliefs. I would love to hear from you. Religious deconstruction can be painful because there is a change in identity. Losing friends and family does not help. But—what if it doesn’t have to be that way? What if some of us are choosing to put wedges between ourselves and those we love.
